A blog worthy story

Jacob's soccer game yesterday went infinitely better than the first even though the game fell right smack dab in the middle of nap time at 2:15 pm. We decided to run Jacob ragged in the morning and get him down for a nap early and just wake him up early. Thank goodness we did that. Some of the other kids on the team skipped their naps entirely and let's just say that wasn't really working out for them.

We talked ad nauseum to Jacob about the fact that there would only be one ball in the game and he would have to chase after that ball along with 9 other kids on the field. To which he kept replying "Okay, I can do that." As soon as the game started, he was running like a mad man all over the field but he wasn't really chasing the ball. He was chasing the other kids and running wherever they went. He had a big smile on his face the whole time so we were relieved he was at least having fun this time. Since he wasn't really going after the ball, we told him that if he actually kicked the ball, we'd go for ice cream after the game. Sure enough, he finally got his foot on the ball and was so excited we were going to get ice cream! As an extra incentive, we told him if he kicked the ball in the goal, we'd get him a Lightning McQueen CAKE (we don't condone these tactics, by the way. They are desperate measures to get our child to do what we want him to do, and they rarely work. So, do as we say, not as we do!) When he heard that, he really wanted to kick the ball in the goal, but in his defense, he never even got close enough to the ball (let alone close enough to the ball and the goal at the same time), that it was virtually impossible for him to accomplish this. So, our plan backfired and he started to get upset because he really wanted that cake!

So, he came running up to me in the middle of the game saying "Mommy, I kicked the ball in the goal, okay? I kicked it in the goal" (even though he hadn't, he just REALLY wanted cake.) I just started laughing and said "Okay, Jacob, keep playing. Go get the ball!" But, he wanted to convince someone that he had kicked the ball in the goal, so he pulled his coach aside and kept telling him over and over again, "I kicked the ball in the goal, okay?" The coach didn't understand Jacob-speak so he had no idea what he was saying. So the coach called the referee over and Jacob started telling her that he "kicked the ball in the goal." She didn't understand Jacob-speak either but together, she and the coach decided that Jacob was saying, "I tinkled by the goal". So the referee STOPS THE GAME, comes running off of the field and into the concessions area (to get something to clean up the "tinkle", I guess?) and the coach comes running over to me telling me that Jacob "tinkled by the goal." I looked at him like he was insane (don't you think someone would have seen him peeing by the goal? These things don't just go unnoticed!) I picked Jacob up and said "Jacob, what are you saying?" And of course he says to me "Mommy, I kicked the ball into the goal, okay?" I explained to the coach what was going on, we called the referee back over and the game began once again. Oh holy night. We all got a GOOD laugh out of that one. And we also learned a lesson. Bribery certainly doesn't always work on our child.