Monday, November 29, 2010

Photography lesson #2: Expect nothing

Once again, the pressure is on to take the perfect photograph for our holiday cards. You'd think by now I'd realize that the "perfect photo" does not exist (especially one with all 4 of us included) and that the perfection lies in the "imperfections". I'm working on that. Yet still, on a daily basis, I have this aching need to get outside and snap photos of my angels, so that I can capture the magic they bring to our lives, to deliver right to your mailbox. This is one of my downfalls...these great expectations.

The day after Thanksgiving was amazing. It was cool and clear and after a slew of rain, we welcomed the sunshine. After the kids woke up from their naps, I immediately said "let's go to the city and take pictures near the bridge." Instead of laughing in my face, Mark surprisingly jumped on board and we were on our way. I packed toys, snacks, jackets...seemingly everything we'd need. Guess what I forgot? The sun goes down EARLY these days -- and Chrissy Field near the Golden Gate bridge is surrounded by hills of trees, blocking the low sun, even though it hasn't set yet. The light was off, the temps were chilly, and the kids were...well, being kids. They didn't want to have anything to do with the camera, or smiling for one, and both were running in different directions.

Still, it is a memory etched in our brains of the day we played under the Golden Gate bridge. And even though the 4 of us aren't present in any 1 picture, we captured some light and some smiles along the way.







Maddie's need to run full speed into the ocean was NOT to be underestimated









Even 3 members of the family was hard to capture -- but this one surprised me. If only Jacob was looking up.



Her smile kills me in this photo



Mark and I were throwing the ball back and forth to each other to keep her attention



I'm playing with the "soft" setting here



Jacob found a stick. Give the kid a big stick and he's happy for hours.



I had to include this picture even though it is frustratingly (is that a word?) blurry. Her little tiny self in front of this ginormous (now, I know that's not a word) bridge. Nothing is much cuter than that.



And by far, my favorite photo of the day...is quite possibly my favorite photo of the year. Jacob was shoveling sand and then throwing it in the air. Over and over again. I can't get over his facial expression, his posture, and most specifically, his HAND. Good lord, it brings me to tears every time. How funny is HE?!



Don't be surprised if you see any of these photos appear on your Christmas card this year. Since only 5 of you read this blog, I don't mind spoiling the surprise for you. But, then again, I may still be attempting the "perfect photo" and those cards may never make it in the mail. :)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Photography lesson #1: Know your subject

For some reason, Jacob seems to think that when a camera is present, he needs to make this face:



And this one:



When I tell him, "Jacob, why are you making that face?! Just look natural!", he does this:



Oh, for the love, seriously? Taking pictures of my children requires an amount of patience that I don't even think Mother Teresa can say she has.

So, instead, I reminded Jacob of an old story when Max said "Hi Dinosaur!" to him at school. And I got this:



Much better. And then I started saying all kinds of silly things like "Hi Hippo!". And I got this:



And "Hi Alligator!" got this:



I guess I should stick with almost-4-year-old humor. Apparently it works like a charm!

But I can't underestimate the willingness of an almost 4-year-old to pose. This was totally unprompted:



And this one too:



And I had to tell him 100 times not to chew on his sweater. But it does make for quite a cute photo:



Then I let them play. I should just let them play all the time and forget about getting good close up photos. Because this one is pretty darn cute too.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Baby blues

A day doesn't go by that I don't think this child has the most amazing eyes I've ever seen.



Her personality is growing exponentially and everyday she's picking up new words, sounds and gestures. So far, she says the following:

Dada
Jay Jay (for Jacob)
Mama
Baba (for bottle)
Ball
Hat
Hi
Papa
Nana (for banana)
Night Night
Shay Shay (for shake shake)

Her favorite thing to do lately is look at pictures of the family. When she sees a picture of Daddy or Jacob, she just starts squealing "Dada! Dada!" and "Jay Jay! Jay Jay!" while pointing at their faces. She also loves to rock out in Mommy's car to my iPod. Her car seat dancing is nothing less than all out head banging. She is beginning to learn her body parts and knows her nose and mouth when you ask her to point to them. She'll also tell you what a kitty cat says and what a doggy says. Everyday is something new and we're loving it!

Playing with the kitty:



Head banging in the car:



Maddie and Jacob in the bath - she kept pretending she was going to bite him and he thought it was hysterical. When you ask Maddie to show you "one", she puts up her 2 index fingers. It's too cute!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Parenting a sensitive child

Last Friday when I was dropping Jacob off at school, another one of the mother's invited us over after school to play with her son Max. Max just turned 5 years old, but they decided to wait another year before putting him in kindergarten. Jacob was over the moon. He couldn't WAIT to play with Max. I was looking forward to it as well since I've met this mother before and she was super sweet, from the South and lived in Houston for a long time so we seemed to have a lot in common.

Anyway, we headed over to Max's house after school and his mom and I hit it off and were talking about anything and everything. She then admits to me that she's been wanting to invite us over because the teachers at the school said that "Jacob would be a good influence on Max". Without going into much detail, Max has shown some regressive behavior since he's always around younger kids and his Mom expressed this to the teachers. In turn, they encouraged Max to form a friendship and bond with Jacob. My Jacob. He's not even 4 yet. He would be a good influence on Max.

To say that my heart swelled with pride would be an understatement, because I literally almost started crying right then and there in her kitchen.

At the same time that my heart is aching (in a good way) and my eyes are welling up with tears, my brain finally clicks on and I think to myself, "Why then, do we have so many battles at home?"

Don't get me wrong. Jacob is a good kid. He's a great kid. But he's also a very sensitive kid which is a behavior that is very difficult to parent sometimes. I don't know how to handle the situation when he's broken down in tears for the 15th time that day because he can't get a toy to work or because he's spilled some milk on his shirt. It's downright exhausting.

Fast forward to yesterday. Jaemie and I decided to take the kids down to the mall so that they could play inside and we'd have lunch after. Jacob's first meltdown was in the car when he took Maddie's blanket from her and I told him to give it back. In the early part of the day, I usually have extreme patience and this day was no different. I calmly explained to him that it is not nice to take things from people and how would he feel if Maddie grabbed his blanket out of his hands? Tears and screams ensued and I warned him I would turn the car around. He finally calmed down and we were on our way. We get to the mall and he starts playing in the play area. When Owen arrives, he doesn't immediately start playing with Jacob (he's checking out the whole place for goodness sake!) and Jacob starts bawling his eyes out screaming "Owen won't play with me!" Once again, I get down on my knees so we are eye level and I explain to him calmly that Owen just arrived and he's checking things out so just to give him some time until he's ready to play. This fit lasted longer and he got upset about it a couple of times. We eventually decide to go to lunch and on the way there, we pass a machine with those little plastic balls with prizes in them. Jacob asks me a few thousand times if he can get a prize. I tell him "if you can sit down nicely, eat your lunch and no more screaming and crying, we'll get a prize on the way out." The ridiculousness that followed isn't even worth typing. There was no eating of the lunch, and LOTS of screaming and crying. My patience was tapped out, and it ended with us abandoning our friends in the mall and going straight to the car. Jacob passed out in the car on the way home which never happens anymore which tells me that he was extremely tired. Was the fatigue causing the meltdowns? Or did the meltdowns cause the fatigue?

Now, I'd like to point out that this does not happen every day, but it does happen, and it's frequent enough that I feel it's worth mentioning now. The entire way home I am racking my brain thinking of a thousand things I could have done to handle it better, or at least, more positively. I get home and I google "parenting a sensitive child" and when Maddie goes down for her nap, I pass out in my own bed from emotional exhaustion. Mark wakes me up 45 minutes later because one of us is supposed to go to Jacob's parent/teacher conference at the school scheduled for 2:20 pm. I ask Mark if he wants to go because I am in such a fog, I can barely form sentences.

Mark comes home and tells me how the conference went. Basically, the teachers raved about Jacob and tell him that Jacob is a perfect child. His written report says the following (these are just excerpts, I won't bore you with the whole thing!):
"he is very patient when it comes to instructions, good listener"
"he is very rule-oriented"
"he is able to work collaboratively as well as cooperatively"
"he enjoys learning from his peers through parallel work and understands the concept of 'taking turns'"
"he is willing to participate in the process of conflict resolution"
"he is very open to discussion and resolution of the conflict"
"he is willing to talk about his feelings"
"he is willing to listen to others' feelings"

And, almost like a dagger through my heart:
"his family seems to be very important to him, and acts as a great source of comfort to him in times of confusion, stress or transition. He will often call out for 'mommy' in a questioning tone during these moments. We assure him that you will be there and remind him of the daily schedule, and then after the reassurance he quickly moves on."

It is extremely encouraging to know that Jacob is so well behaved in school and I am so proud of him after hearing what they had to say and reading what they wrote. I wish I were able to sit down with him and formulate answers to the thousand questions I have about why struggles exist at home, but when I broached the subject with him, he didn't understand at all what I meant and said "Mommy, maybe next time Daddy should take me to the mall." I couldn't help but die laughing. Yes, my beautiful boy, maybe he should.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

You can take the kids out of Texas...

...but you can't take Texas out of the kids.

I was downloading some photos on my little Lumix point and shoot camera the other day and I came across some captured moments that couldn't go undocumented.

Maddie is increasingly more interested in accessorizing. If she sees a hat, it immediately needs to go on her head as she says "haa, haa, haaa" over and over again. If sunglasses are nearby, they need to be on her face and if there is a bag anywhere in the house, she will find it and quickly slip it onto her arm. Yep, she's undoubtedly a little woman.

So, last month, when she saw Jacob's cowboy hat, there really was no other choice than to let her strut around the house with it on...in nothing but her diaper.





I love how it doesn't even phase Jacob that his sister is in a cowboy hat and diaper.



And, back in July, when we were still in Texas, Jacob had "cowboy day" at school and all the kids dressed up as cowboys/cowgirls. Unfortunately, I never splurged for kids cowboy boots but he did look awfully cute anyway.





Don't let these pictures fool you. Jacob and Maddie are quite happy in their new home here. The other day, on our way home from the gym, we're driving down the highway and Jacob is just smiling from ear to ear in the backseat and out of the blue says "Mommy, I just love California".

Well, buddy, you wear it well. Almost as good as Texas.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Belly laughs

Just another day in the Broxterman household. Jacob was attempting to make Maddie laugh during lunch. He never fails...



And I just found this video from a few weeks ago. This is one of their favorite "games". They run around putting all the cars back in the bin. Jacob likes to act like a lunatic when he does it, and she cracks up every time.